Silly Rhymes An Ode to Sue - No Valentine - My Poems 

Jack Sprat  By    Rex Garrod
Jack Sprat ate all the fat his wife she ate the sweeties
Jack Sprat had a heart attack and his wife has diabetes

It couldn’t be done
Everyone said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied,
That maybe it couldn't
But he wouldn't be the one
To say so until he had tried,
So he buckled right in
With a trace of a grin
On his face if he worried he hid it,
So he tackled the thing,
That couldn't be done
    AND HE DID IT

Perfume  By        Anon
The bottle of perfume that Willie sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent
Her thanks were so cold
That they Quarreled I'm told
Over the silly scent Willie sent Millicent

Smiles
A smile is quite a funny thing it wrinkles up your face
And when it’s gone, you’ll never find it’s secret hiding place
But far more wonderful it is to see what smiles can do
You smile at one, he smiles at you, so now one smile makes two

A woman's Poem:-  Authoress unknown

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
smacked him one
Like his mother used to do.

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 My poems are more often thank you notes or things I just want to remember. They don’t rhyme very well but what the hell.

Thank you to Captain & Wife on Eye Of The Wind

Dear Gitte and Svend you are so kind
To think that you have me in mind
And you who have to work so hard
Can still find time to send a card

My Christmas time will be complete
When I have had too much to eat
I’ll doze the afternoon away
And dream the dreams of yesterday

 O is it real, can it be true
I sailed the Eye just like the crew
I worked aloft with Guys & Gals
The ones I like to think are pals

We crossed the seas in weather fair
Propelled at speed by gentle air
But every time I tell the tale
The wind gets nearer to a gale

The mast gets taller than a tree
And you could hear that stormy sea
Crashing around us in the night
It sometimes gives me quite a fright

We speed along a fearful lick
I never mention I was sick
But do admit to one and all
Just how I really had a ball

No one believes that I was brave
They just know me as dear old Dave
Now a favour I will ask of you
Say Happy Christmas to the crew

Why being a Granddad is Grand

The thing that really makes me glad
Is that I am your daddy’s dad
It makes me proud as I can be
That you can call me your grandee

No better thing I’ll ever do
Than have a grandchild sweet as you
And when I hold your tiny hand
I know why being granddad’s grand

The games we play the songs we’ve sung
Makes me remember being young
When I like you was often told
Of things that you can do when old

Believe me that’s not really true
As there is nothing you can do
That’s half as good as here and now
Unless one day somewhere somehow

When you grow old and past your best
When all you want to do is rest
You will be happy never sad
If you are some ones daddy’s dad

Playing pretend Zoos with Georgia @ aged 5

Dear Georgia now I have the time
I will be pleased to write a rhyme
About the fun we had with you
Pretending we were at the zoo

You jumped about on springy legs
As if you’d eaten chocolate eggs
But that’s the thing you have to do
When you become a kangaroo

And then you gave a mighty roar
With fingers stretched out like a claw
So frightening a sound like that
You had become a tiger cat

With arm outstretched and breathy pant
You looked just like an elephant
Next flapping hands in gentle sail
There is no doubt you were a whale

Those horses galloped round and round
Stamping your feet upon the ground
Given the choice I think I wish
That just like you I’d be a fish

The picnic was a special treat
When mummy made nice things to eat
So thank you for a special day
And having Mo and me to play

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An ode to Sue who on this day
Is sixty years I have to say
Although it don’t seem long at all
Since Sue was young as I recall 

In school gym-slip she looked serene
More convent girl than I had seen
The tall girls sash swing as they walk
But our Sue’s sash was always taut

But even then at sweet sixteen
Sue had grace just like a Queen
And caught the eye of every lad
Which sorely worried her old Dad

But then one day through drunken blur
Sue saw a man who made things stir
Deep down inside her bloomers blue
There was nothing she could do

But forget the warnings she had heard
The nuns had wasted every word
This man of steel he moved so fast
And he was equal to the task

She screamed and struggled as if in pain
And then she cried, do it again
But Chick said no not till we’re wed
OK said Sue go right ahead

The bells rang out that wedding day
And as we watched them go away
They climbed aboard the Paris train
No night of lust just sick in Seine

They had such fun life was a ball
Their union blessed by Zoe and Paul
Where would we be, what would we do
If we all had no friend like Sue

Another Ode to Sue @ 65

Now years have past and we are old
And all the stories have been told
Don’t moan at being sixty-five
Just rejoice that we are still alive

When we can hear Sue’s squeaks and squeals
We know there coming from her wheels
Now Chick he doesn’t have to be so fast
With time to catch his breath at last 

There is still time to have some fun
Providing you walk not try to run
Just take your pleasures at a pace
And stroll though life; it’s not a race

Lets thank our stars that we’ve been blessed
With time at last to sit and rest
To watch the sunset, hear the birds
And share with friend’s kind thoughts and words 

It’s a new beginning not an end
A chance with loved ones time to spend
Let’s be forever joyful, never sad
Thankful for good times we’ve all had

Now raise your glass and give a toast
To the one we think deserves it most
Now all together join and say
We love you Sue, Happy Birthday

*************************

Before I end I’d like to say
Thanks Pri and Don, this special day
Has been a pleasure for us all
And every one has had a ball

But as we stagger on our way
With weary bones and hair that’s grey
We’ve had our fill of food and drink
And left the dishes in the sink

So lets all put our aprons on
And lend a hand to Pri and Don

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The No Valentine Card Agreement, 14^th February 2005

The contract we make upon this day
Will hold whatever else you say
That  we in mind and body sound
When there was no one else around

That I’ll be yours forever true
And can expect the same from you
There will be no card or roses red
That’s how it is that’s what we said

 But just in case you do forget
I still recall the day we met
How then for me my life began
You turned a boy into a man

Who loves you more than words can say
Who’s heart is bursting on this day
I don’t need valentine cards and things
My world is full and my heart sings

I will be glad and never blue
As long as I know I have you
We’ve sailed the world so wild and free
But best of all your home with me

So just because you got no card
Don’t think of me as mean or hard
I still love you the same old way
And will go on loveing you each day

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